i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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