Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
