Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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