Need sex. Gaining weight.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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