They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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