How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I smell like Dick and happiness
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
