I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
