she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
