Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
