I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
