I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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