He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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