if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I don't think brook has ever known best
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
