Non-Jews are for practice
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I could fuck to npr.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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