i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I touched a dick in church today
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
