Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
