how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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