i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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