Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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