end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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