once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
