He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
