it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize