dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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