we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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