I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
