Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize