i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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