I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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