the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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