i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
