Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
