Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
