How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
