my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I will be naked everywhere
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
