Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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