He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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