Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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