why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
