Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
