Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so explain again why im purple
no
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize