Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize