Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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