Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize