I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
