Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize