chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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