similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
