I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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