How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
