I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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