I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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