I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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