Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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