She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize