You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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