dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
