Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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