I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
